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05-16-2008, 11:20 PM
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#1
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Leadfoot Wikipedia
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: United States, Mesa Az.
Posts: 1,625
Rep Power: 30
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Vagina
Vagina
A housewife heard a knock at the door, and when she answered, a man
asked her if she had a vagina. The woman slammed the door in
disbelief at what the stranger had said.
The following day the same thing happened, so she decided to tell
her husband. The husband was outraged.
'Tomorrow I won't go to work,' he said. 'If the man returns and
asks if you have a vagina, say yes, and I will be hiding behind the
door.
'The next day the same man came again, and when the woman opened
the door, he asked if she had a vagina.
The woman replied, 'Yes.'
'Good,' the man said. 'Then please tell your husband to stop
screwing my wife!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Gorilla and the Redneck;
A small zoo in West Virginia obtained a very rare species of gorilla.Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:'First', Bobby Lee said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt.' The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.'Third', he said, 'you can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper again readily agreed to this condition'Fourth', Bobby Lee said, 'I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.' Once again it was agreed.'And last,' Bobby Lee said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00
__________________
F.T.W. & Most People On It. 
The indiscriminate use of vulgar language is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate mutherfocker.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
Last edited by *FUO*-*InSiN* : 05-16-2008 at 11:35 PM.
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05-17-2008, 05:29 AM
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#2
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Leadfoot Wikipedia
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: United States, Mesa Az.
Posts: 1,625
Rep Power: 30
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Here's another:
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Germany asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Have a good day."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just
could not seem to get to work on time. Every day
he was five, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late.
Nevertheless, he was a good worker, really tidy,
clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to
the company and obviously demonstrating their
"Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss was in a real quandary about
how to deal with it. Finally, he called him into the
office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like
your work ethic, you do a bang on job, but you are
being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That is what I
like to hear. It is odd though, you are coming in
late. I know you are retired from the Armed Forces.
What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They said, 'Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir?'"
__________________
F.T.W. & Most People On It. 
The indiscriminate use of vulgar language is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate mutherfocker.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
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